Healthcare in the United States has become a bit of a running joke, with people routinely sharing horror stories of how much their hospital visits set them back. You almost have to laugh to keep from crying. And once you hear the now-viral story of TikToker Cinthanie McAllister, you’ll definitely be crying… from laughing so hard.

“I bet you didn’t know that you wanted to know how much it costs to fart without insurance in an ER in the United States,” starts McAllister, ready to tell her tale of one seriously expensive toot.

“A little while ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with the most excruciating abdominal pain I have ever experienced in my life. I was doubled over. I couldn’t walk. I had to literally crawl across our bedroom floor to wake my husband up to get him to take me to the ER,” she shares. “They had to come out to the car and wheelchair me into the ER because I couldn’t walk because I was in so much pain.”

The ER even went so far as to give her a CT scan because everyone — McAllister, her husband, possibly even the hospital staff — thought her appendix might be rupturing. The pain got so bad that they wanted to give her morphine. “I was like, ‘No! I don’t want any f*cking morphine; I just want to know what’s wrong with me.'”

At least, she thought she wanted to know.

While McAllister waited for the CT scan results, she realized she needed to use the restroom. And, well, you know where this is going.

“I let out the world’s fattest ripper you’ve ever heard in your life,” she admits, still laughing. “It was so ungodly smelling. It was so unwomanly. It was so wretched. I’m positive that if there were bugs in the walls in that hospital, they were bug-bombed out. It was so f*cking bad.”

Then, it got worse — because McAllister had an unsettling realization. “Needless to say, after letting out the world’s biggest ripper, I felt pretty good.”

Yep, the excruciating pain that had made her writhe in agony… had been gas all along. Her CT scan came back clear. The ER ruled it as gastrointestinitis, “and they sent me on my way with some suppositories as a consolation prize.”

Not surprisingly, the comments on her video do not disappoint.

“The price of gas in this country is outrageous 🤣☠️,” joked @Sarah Staten.

“Happened to me once… spent hours in the ER for the Dr to say I had a ‘fart stuck sideways,'” commented @D.

Commiserated @Fionna Jenner, “This happened to my daughter in Canada. It only cost her dignity.”

“Ugh, you should at least ask for a copy of your CT scan of your fart 💨 bahaha,” suggested @Whitley, to which McAllister hilariously responded, “Should frame it too. Would definitely be the most expensive artwork in my house.”

All joking aside, the ordeal was probably an emotional rollercoaster for McAllister. After the pain and concern, she no doubt felt embarrassment. Plus, it was pretty funny until a whole new level of stress, pain, and drama came when she got the bill.

Spoiler alert: It’s nothing short of absolutely obscene.

“How much do you think it cost me to let out that fart in the ER with no insurance? I’m telling you right now, you’re wrong. It’s more. It’s more than what you think,” she says. “This fart cost me $8,621.10.”

A few healthcare professionals chimed in with some helpful information about the bill, with one sharing, “Ask for an itemized bill, then dispute anything you can because they will bill for EVERYTHING. Sincerely, a healthcare biller.”

Another reiterated that she should ask for an itemized bill, adding, “And tell them you are a cash patient. That should cut it in half or more. Then, just tell them you’ll make payments. Send them $20 a month. They’ll take it and do nothing more.”

To McAllister’s credit, she’s still laughing — bill in hand and all. And what’s that they say about laughter being the best medicine? If nothing else, at least it’s free.